breakthebadhabit

Contrary to popular notion, not all opinions should be respected, especially those that reek of bigotry and hate.

We’ve been raised in a nation which values democracy, freedom and independence so much that we tend to voice out and rationalize our actions as part of our rights to express ourselves and do things freely. 

To be free is indeed a human right, there’s nothing against that. It’s actually a universal trait of human rights. These rights hold our dignity as human beings, but does this right also entitles us to instill hate and bigotry just because we are free to do so? 

We study history, though we may not be able to change it, still we get to learn from it. We know from History that most of the tragedies incurred in it are full of hatred and bigotry, such beliefs that some people are lesser than others, if we really believe that we have rights, aren’t we supposed to agree that we share these right to everyone as well? 

We expect others to respect our opinions, but then if our opinions would prove to be derogatory, insulting and trespasses right of other human being is it still worth respecting? 

Valuing the idea of equality, freedom and democracy isn’t delimited to our own rights and belief. It encompasses how we value the rights and belief of others, To protect their dignity as much as we want our dignities and rights to be protected as well. It won’t be possible if we do it in a one-way route. We can make this equality happen if we ourselves would know and see each and everyone, yeah different but equal to us to. 

If we want our beliefs to be valued, let’s learn to see things with respect too. 

We all should be respected, valued and protected. Only by this we know that freedom, democracy and equality will transpire and perpetuate in the years to come. 

Overheard.

Sir: Kapag hindi niyo alam yung sagot sa quiz, ‘magmahal’ ang ilagay niyo.

Class: Bakit sir?

Sir: Kasi kahit kailan, hindi mali ang magmahal.

Wake up, there are sad people who really need hugs.

I traveled way far from one city to another just to have a company of those who will simply hug me. Not needing to explain why I feel such thing but just because I want to be with people who will just let me hold their hand and take some strength from them because I think I have literally none left with me. 

Just last week, we were all dumbfounded after hearing a news of an Iska who took her own life, which was pointed on her family’s inability to pay for her tuition which forced her to take a forced LOA as a student. 

On instinct I felt bad, depressed and the likes. Being someone who have taken suicide as a choice for the last years of my life, I feel bad… Though I have taken suicide as a choice because of feeling lonely and alone for a very long time, having suffered to lose all your family members, to be betrayed by people you love and to feel pitiful in yourself because it means you have no one to hold on to. 

Yeah, What happened to Kristel was indignant, depressing and such. But it made me realize how much our own society not only the education system  is answerable for this. It calls for everyone of us. Yeah, we all need to breakdown and cry out for sometime, but its not a reason for us to quit. 

Ironically, but I’ve been feeling that quite recently, failing to look reasons why I should live, Perhaps this is the same as what Kristel felt. I can’t give more insights because it is what I am going through right now and I can’t actually rationalize why I felt this way. 

I’ll try to be sturdy. Search for hugs that would make me feel less alone. Perhaps I can find understanding for all of this. Eventually. 

Blinking back.

I hate these late nights moments when all I can do is write it down  cause no one would listen. When all sorts of despair goes into your mind. Thoughts which you’ve been viciously fighting hard to shove away from your head cause you can’t afford to break down with all those everyone who watch your every move. 

When all you do is to raise up and show your feigned bravery. Being casual with the fact that you’re nothing but a lonely bitch. A bitch in complete solitude. A bitch who doesn’t even worth to be told the truth by the one and only person she truly cares about.  Whose close to begging people not to leave her side cause all that she is nothing. Nothing compared to the fact that though she despises loneliness, it is something she have to deal with. 

All throughout the day, she gathers her strength.  Keeping the tears at bay. Nothing to do but blink it back when all she wanted is to let it fall out like every piece of her shattered souls, heart and spirit. The day had been a day of painful throat. Not because of talking but because of struggling to keep tears at the back of her lids. To blink it back every time it threatens to fall. Because they’re not supposed to show anyone how much she hates her loneliness and how much it kills her inside. 

Do I really wanna wake up from this crap?

I’ve been in a limbo, for a month, though much of some things were left unsaid between us, we continue to live as if nothing is wrong. We do things like we used  to, living in a limbo we have created only for one another. I wake up and talk to him setting aside the issues we failed to overcome with past months. 

Yesterday was a signage. Telling me to throw at least a bit of sense into this so called relationship we have. Lies we’re unfolded, Lies which I know ever since. I don’t mean to rattle him or even hate him, cause I’ve been aware of all the lies and I’ve been just trying to live with it. 

He lies. Can I change that? and though he does repeatedly, while he keeps on saying he loves me, he turns into silence. and that breaks my heart. more than the lie itself. 

I’m more than willing to turn myself into a complete fool here, just to be assured that I have someone beside me. Though its just a makeshift role, a pretension, the things is I’m not yet ready to wake up and accept the fact that he never chose me. That he maybe loved me, but that was not enough to fight for me. 

I’ve been trying to stretch things and time. Willing to wait though it was useless, listening to his excuses. 

After a whole night of crying and praying that God hopefully gives me the enough courage to keep the path, cause after waking up from this crap. I will face and crash on reality that I am nothing but a lonely bitch. Who’s been left behind. 

A bitch who lives for the moment cause all she sees is a bleak and lonely life ahead. 

Do not wake me up please. 

“Breathing, n

You had asthma as a child, had to carry around an inhaler. But when you grew older, it went away. You could run for miles and it was fine. 
Sometimes I worry that this is happening to me in reverse. The older I get, the more I lose my ability to breathe.” 

“gravity, n.

I imagine you saved my life. And then I wonder if I’m just imagining it.”